“You expect me to talk?” “No Mr Bond I expect you to die!”

Here is a great piece in the New York Times about Mikhail Prokhorov, the Russian multi-billionaire (multi is an understatement. Dude’s worth nearly 18 billion) who purchased the New Jersey Nets and will take control of the team soon.

The piece brings up many things that are, to hardcore fans of the game like me, interesting.

For example, did you know the Mavs are the only team in the league, and perhaps all of pro sports, to employ a full time shrink?

The Mavs are mentioned because the Russian dude’s combination of (relative) youth, money, and passion for the game most resembles Mark Cuban. In fact, Bill Simmons calls the Russian dude “Russian Mark Cuban”. It’s good for the league to have owners who are passionate and approaches this as fans instead of as CEOs.

But back to the shrink thing. The Mavs have a full time shrink? I wonder who needs it the most. All that psychobabble didn’t seem to help their mental toughness, as they followed the disappointing 06 finals loss with an absolute choke job in the 07 playoffs. This year, they’re about to fall as the #2 seed.

Here are more interesting points from the story:

1: The writer describes Prokhorov with the line “he could pass for a Bond villain”. Really? Just because he’s, what, tall, relatively young, insanely rich, and um….Russian? Hahaha. Gotta love the fact that Americans’ love of stereotyping Russians as robotic-sounding villains carries over to even the New York Times.

2: The piece says Prokhorov will be the second most athletic owner in the league behind Michael Jordan. Even though Jordan only played basketball and Prokjorov is supposed to be an expert skier, kickboxer. At 6’8, dude’s even two inches taller than Jordan. But still, he’s clearly the second best athlete in the room when he’s with Jordan. Other sports don’t matter, that’s what the writer is saying. You can be expert in everything but Jordan is a better athlete than you because he is the GOAT of basketball.

I concur with that all the way. Ha.

3: Finally, the Nets will move out of the swamps and to Newark for a year or two or three. Then, they will become the Brooklyn Nets when their one billion dollar arena is ready.

It’s becoming more and more apparent that the Knicks are a joke and Lebron, despite the NY media’s buttkissing, won’t be going to NYC this summer. But you know what?

Methinks Lebron can sign a short three year deal with Cleveland this July 1st. Then, in 2013, he can sign with the Brooklyn Nets. Where cool rich Russian owner and part owner Jay Z will shower him with gifts and love.

The 2013 Nets should be in better shape than the Knicks are right now. And we all know proclaiming you hail from Brooklyn sounds cooler than saying you’re from Manhattan. (Streetcred factor. Y’all wouldn’t know unless you seen Do The Right Thing)

JULY 1ST, 2013… SUMMER OF BRON?????

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