A long continuous chain

“June 8th. My life has taken another turn again. The days can go on with regularity over and over, one day indistinguishable from the next. A long continuous chain.”
–Travis Bickle

Time moves faster and faster, it seems, as I get older. The other night my roommate told me she’s leaving Hong Kong. I could keep the place–it’s a great deal and a great spot, but I’m in no shape to commit a year so I can’t sign the lease. So I’ll be moving out as well.

As I was looking at my room dreading at all the shit I’d have to move, I realized that I never even got around to set up my room. See, ever since I was a kid I’d dreamt to have my own place one day, and it’d be super geeked out with classic movie posters on the wall, a book shelve full of books and comics, and a cabinet for CDs and other collectibles.

I’ve yet to have a place completely to myself yet (always have shared flats), but this current place came as close as possible–we had a proper, comfortable living room and my room wasn’t ridiculously tiny. So when I moved in here this past March, I spent more than usual–for me, that is–on furniture and prepared a few movie posters, magazine covers, and newspaper clippings to put on the wall. I even bought a little shelve to store books.

When I first moved in I threw a pile of clothes on the shelve that was supposed to be used for books and I dropped the small box of magazines and posters in another corner. The idea was, that once I settle in I’d proudly display the magazines (including a Liam Gallagher autographed Q magazine) on the wall and stack the books neatly in the shelve. I wanted to do it, but you know…things always got in the way.

Life, got in the way.

Over the past six months, I went from either planning/helping somone to move to thinking about my own potential move to two months ago, realizing I wasn’t going to move. Always was occupied with something. So now, six months in, the things I dropped on my first day of moving is still in the same spot. My room still hasn’t been “made”.

Of course, there is no point now.

But you see, I can see the stacks of magazines in the corner everyday; every night I rummage through a pile of books knowing full well that they’re not where they’re supposed to be. It just never hit me that…damn, time is moving fast. To me, I still felt as if “eh I’m still settling in, I’ll get all this stuff up eventually”.

And the next thing I know, it’s time to move.

What’s happening with time? It’s already nearly September of 2010, 2011 is basically around the corner. WTF? I still remember feeling surreal writing “2010” as if it was yesterday. I still remember last Christmas, or Halloween. I saw a former coworker two nights ago and it took us a while to figure out that we haven’t seen each other since 2009. It certainly didn’t felt that long.

This blog doesn’t get much traffic; there’s a link to it on my CNNGo and SLAM profile but other than that, I very rarely advertise the link anywhere. It’s part of my blogging philosophy–I don’t want to hold back what I write. I’m gonna be fucking blunt, and quite frankly, emo, and tell it like it is. But I don’t want to make it private because I wouldn’t mind if the occasional good friend comes in and offers a bit of solace, advice, or trash talk. But I’m not going to advertise the link. Therefore, you come here on your own and read it, cool. But I ain’t going to ask people to come check it out.

With that said, most of the traffic to my blog lately has made up of random strangers googling one thing: that one line from Inception that haunted Dom Cobb and Saito.

Do you want to be an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?

This line must hit a note with many, because 99% of searches that leads to my blog is a search for that line. And it’s been like this for a while now. People are googling that line, every single day.

I’m assuming these people are feeling the same sense of urgency that I feel. That time is moving too fast, time is slipping away. You don’t sense these things until you hit a certain point in your life. Guess I hit that point, and so did the dozen guys who google that line everyday and randomly coming across this blog.


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